Fruitless Cries

Alone I stand at the top of the canyon ridge.
As the shout rings out, the gentle slopes grab the vibrato
and bounce it along the canyon face.
Only the eagle can hear the desperation in my voice
and I shout once again to be sure he hears the cry.
Surely this is what it will be like
alone at the top
thundering cries that are not heard by ears
the canyon dancing and crumbling here and there.
The voice is as if scarlet
as blood starts to trickle out of the palms of my hands
and searing pain rips through my feet.
Tears begin to turn the dust into mud
and I desperately wipe them away with my scapular.
Raising my head
I wince at the desert sun
for a drop of water
my throat yearns,
for shade my shoulders burn.
If only I could make them all hear
although there are no souls around
If only I could land even on deaf ears
I would surely drop to my knees and beg.
I reach inside my body, and grab my heart
Ripping it out
and it pulsates in my hand.
I throw it as far as I can into the canyon
and watch as the blood splatters on the rocks below.
Blood starts to seep around the rock, so far down
and continued to spread filling in the spaces around the rocks
and eventually the boulders begin to float.
Soon after, the bottom of the canyon is a river of blood, and from the North
A gigantic flood rushes down the canyon flood
mingling with the blood.
Ever so slowly, I take a step off
and let myself fall
a long way down.
The eagle swoops down and catches my fall
Carrying me back to the top
And there I crumble and wait
For now, I know there is no escape.


Scourges and Nails

They tied your arms up
And ripped off your clothes
So they could clearly see the flesh they would mutilate
39 lashes
With leather straps and sharp bones
That tore into your flesh
And snapped it off in pieces
Once so light and airy
Now slumped and heavy
As if a giant boulder lay on every cut and bruise
Almost relieved to lay down on that wooden cross
Because carrying it in your condition
Was nearly impossible
Blood all over the place
Hiding the bruises
Your head lay back across the thorns
….it was all you could do to lift your head so they didn’t stab your scull anymore
Dizzy with pain
Hard to breath
Vision blurred and rested on the sky
Your arm was pulled and then a point was placed
But what came next is hard for anyone to imagine
The nail went right through your bones and crushed them
Only flesh held the nail in place
Next came the tug at your legs as they crossed them
One on top of the other
And there couldn’t have been anything more painful
As the nail drove through both
It took six whacks of the hammer to go all the way through
Too late now to turn back
You reeled in pain
And begged for mercy
And this would actually become your name
As the cross was lifted
The entire weight of your body tore at the wounds
And you hung, not for a minute
But for three hours like that
You used those very moments
Those agonizing centuries
You prayed every single moment
And offered your torture up so we wouldn’t be
I feel guilty now thanking you for that sacrifice
For nothing could be worse
I wish us all to hell instead of putting you through that
But then, that is me
And not you Sweet Jesus


johnny_graduation_friends2013On the day of my son’s fifth grade graduation celebration, the giant sky was filled with huge billowy threatening dark rain clouds.
The wind blew in at least 10 miles an hour, the gusts at fifteen. I attended the program at school, and gave as many hugs and words of encouragement to the neighborhood children who were wondering if we were still going to have a pool party.
I had spent a fortune on hamburgers, hot dogs and the like, and my husband and I had spent two diligent weeks raking the bottom of the pool and blasting it with chemicals. It was 99% bright blue, and astonishing to look at. What a mess it had been. Together, our efforts combined brought that beautiful clear sparkling pool to life.
But these deep dark clouds were looming over head, and it was only 60 degrees or so; the celebration looked grim as I shuffled quickly to the car.
Off in the distance, I saw a small patch of bright blue where somehow the luminous clouds had avoided, and I whispered to God, “Please Lord, these are your children, they have worked so hard in school this year, they deserve a great celebration.”
Once home, I still hurried along with the preparations, laying out all of the snack foods, folding towels and setting out chairs.
Eliza, my little sweet one showed up first, as usual, and my husband growled at the fact that she wanted to jump right in. Even my own children still had not put their suits on yet, for we were all holding our breath and squinting at the threatening sky. The entire area was covered with the thickest black clouds you can imagine, and guests started to slowly show up. Soon, I was surrounded by anxious children, who wanted to play in the drizzling rain anyway. I sat down on one of the lawn chairs sighing, and looked up at the sky. There again was that forsaken little patch of bright blue, who knows how it could have been.
So I reached my arms up to Heaven, and in front of everyone said in the loudest voice I could muster, “Lord Jesus! I have great faith in you Lord! I have great faith that this sky will completely clear of all of this stormy weather, and it will turn to THAT color blue,” I said, pointing at the curious patch. All of the children laughed, some of them sneared, and they turned to my husband with anxious looks for a better answer to the problem at hand.
Well, He said, “Go ahead and get in, but if it starts to rain or we hear thunder, you have to get out immediately.”
And so fifteen of them jumped in mostly at the same time, except my little Jazmin, who is afraid of the water.
I laid back on the cold lounge chair, and shivered at the sky.
A half of an hour went by, and the clouds still loomed, even darker, and more threatening, so I cried out again ,”Jesus! I have great faith in you Lord! I KNOW you will clear this sky!!”
The children ignored me this time, their little bodies shivering trying to have fun in the cold and wet.
My dearest friend in the whole world showed up, with her three children, and just as she did, the air got lighter, the sky got a little brighter, and the wind kicked up and started to blow the clouds Eastward.
A half an hour later, the sun was shining down on all of us, there was only a trace of clouds left above us, and it was really starting to warm up. I started pointing to the sky saying, God is so good!” Angie, my best friend, agreed.
Not even fifteen minutes after that, warmth spread over the entire back yard, the sky cleared absolutely completely, the bright bright blue stood out to our amazement, and the wind died down.
All of the mothers who had come fully dressed were now starting to sweat, but not me. I had been wearing a sundress the whole time.
“The amount of faith of a mustard seed can move a mountain.” That’s what he said in His Good Book. This time, faith beckoned the wind, the rain, the massive thunderous clouds, and my heart as well, for I will never forget that gift he gave me in return for my hope in His glory.

Ten Ways To Please God


Ten Ways To Please God
1. When you get up in the morning, say, “Good morning!” to him

2. When you are doing some menial task during the day, say a silent “Our Father” to him
(the Our Father is at the bottom of this page)

3. When doing a small task for someone else, such as picking up their clothes off the floor, say to him, “This is for You Lord”

4. Tell someone who is down, and doesn’t feel like they have a friend in the world, that Jesus loves them, The Creator of the Universe.

5. Hold up a plump piece of fruit, or a flower, and say to someone, “Isn’t God amazing to have able to think this up?

6. When you are talking with a person who clearly is filled with evil, say silently to yourself, “In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I cast out of this body before me all evil spirits. Do not bother this body, or any of it’s family again. In the name of Jesus Christ, be gone now.

7. Honor the Mother of Jesus, Mother Mary, by daily saying hello to her, and thanking her for watching over us.

8. When He performs a miracle in your life, or does something amazing out of the blue, recognize Him for that, and say, “I know that was YOU! Thank you for loving me.”

9. Thank Jesus daily for saving all the souls from Hell by dying in our place.

10. When someone asks you for something, give them twice as much as what they asked for, and tell God that was for him, for your love for him.

Some people say, “How do I speak with God when he doesn’t speak back. What is praying? How do you pray? How can I have a personal relationship with God?
They are thinking too hard on the subject, and God is EASY.
He does speak back, LOUD AND CLEAR for those who WANT TO RECOGNISE his voice, it is in nature all around us, and whispered into our heart. He will do all of the work, and show you how to do yours, if only you are subjective, and believe, and trust that he is indeed there.
Praying is only saying what is on your mind, and for those that can’t think up anything proper, prayers are written down for them to read. That is a good start. Actually, a great start. You need only to think in your head, to pray.
Jesus already HAS a personal relationship with you, now it is your turn. The best thing to remember is that he knows your whole life already, and is standing at the end of it, on the other side, waiting for you. Don’t let the moment of your death be the first time you meet him.
If you ask Mother Mary, she will prepare you to meet him, in a very special and unique way. She is indeed our advocate.

“Our Father”

Our Father, Who art in heaven
Hallowed be Thy Name;
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. Amen.

“The Hail Mary”

Hail Mary, full of grace.
Our Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death.

The Oh My Jesus!

Oh My Jesus, forgive us our sins, thank you for saving us from the fires of hell, lead all souls to Heaven, especially those who are in most need of thy mercy!

Dreaded Night


Only the Lord can change me
I cannot do it myself
I have tried so hard
And failed

In the daylight
I seem to have my senses
And I am good
And even at night
I bless my dreams
And beg protection for them

But when he tested me in my slumber
I failed so miserably
And now I fear my own self
I now doubt that I would pass in the daylight

The cleansing fire awaits me
To burn away the rust of sin on my soul
To burn away the passion
That leads to damnation
I will gladly throw myself into it
To get rid of the slumbering me

I wonder how long it will be with me
…..the memory of that moment
When I chose to do wrong
And questioned how God would deny me feelings so great.

I wonder how long I will feel like such a failure
And now I know why he wouldn’t lead me to greatness in the first place
Because I would put it before Him
And His opinion of me

But whether I have REALLY done IT or not
I have still failed for I chose to do wrong
In my slumber
When I thought no one was looking
And so I will be denied greatness
For I cannot be trusted

Oh! To not pass his test…
Oh! To fail before His eyes…
With great sorrow
I hate myself
In all it’s passion
The human
Fighting the universal facts
The pure lust of what a human is
The passion that drives every man
That is what I must face
And be able to deny myself
Or the cleansing fire it will be for me.

I cannot change myself
I have tried so hard
And have failed
He MUST do it for me
Or it just will not get done-
And that is my hope for salvation
Once again, it is not me.
Yet it is the cross
dripping in the Lamb’s blood.
It is my fault
He died that way,
Why should I wish less for myself?

Heaven Part I


How you got here seems somehow unimportant
as you gaze through the mist at the gigantic Kingdom.
Your feet are transparent and every part of your body is weightless, including your hair.
Multitudes singing can be heard
but are muffled as the sounds from inside are drowned out by the clouds at your feet.
From left to right, for miles, all you can see is enormous gates
made of gold and adorned by every jewel.
The jewels capture the rays of the Son
and emanate themselves upon you.
Naturally, as if still human, you squint your eyes at the rays
but open your mouth and drink them in.
It is eerily silent except for the far off chorus’ melodies.
The wind does not blow,
and there are no birds in the air that you can see.

All of a sudden, the gate before you starts to open from both sides.
A large being made of color with gleaming white wings pushes them open with effort,
and when it raises it’s head, the light from the being’s eyes draws you to it.
The light is warm, engulfing your soul and flooding it with love.
Out of the gates comes thunderous singing, laughter, and praise,
and cherubim and seraphim float about in the sky, their loin cloths hovering around them.
Some of them are throwing down flowers for you, others have their arms outstretched.
In the distance of the Kingdom’s sky
but more near than the iridescent dome that surrounds it,
Human-like spirits come rushing towards you, and choirs of angels gather on each side below.
Adorned saints are to your left, lined up with their various articles of faith, a cross, a book, a trumpet, a spear, swords, music notes, lambs, staffs and the like, and to the right multitudes of children laugh and play and sing, calling your name over and over.
Twelve trumpets blast. Six on your right, six on your left, and as the flying souls reach you in their haste, you recognize them as people who made you, and you are thankful.
Stepping into the Kingdom, flowers grow up around your feet, and your body is replaced by colors that intermingle to make the same shape as you have been.
Heaven bustles all around you, and beautiful flowing trees line streets paved with gold and jewels. The entire Kingdom before you is made of various kinds of light, and even the more solid objects emanate the rays and are semi-transparent.
All of a sudden, the singing escalades, and shouts and trumpet blasts are heard in unison, the children stop running, and the seraphim and cherubim turn to the light coming from a sphere in the middle of the city. “Jesus is coming!” they exclaim.
And down from the spear on top of the mountain walks Jesus, calm, peaceful, radiating in a blast of light so bright it makes the sun look like the moon. From his eyes glow every color, and a rainbow washes over you, as instantly he is before you.
You fall to the golden floor, and weep, but he picks you up and says, “There are no more tears.” And he welcomes you by entering your spirit, and giving you the answer to every question you have ever pondered.
You are shown a new home, a place that has been prepared for you, with all of your favorite fancies that you have ever dreamt of. This place is in the midst of the company you already know. A special task, designed only for you to accomplish is written on your forehead, you are renamed according to whom you have been, and you are given a white robe to wear.
Just when you feel so overwhelmed that you feel as though you might burst,
and before Jesus lets you loose in paradise,
He says, “Now come, meet my father, who created all that you see, and you yourself.
You will be able to give thanks at the throne.”

And when you get there, say to The Almighty Father, while you gesture to the Lord Jesus,
“For the sake of HIS sorrowful passion, have mercy on me, and on the whole world.”
Remember me when you get there, and pray for me as I am in danger of being damned, and of loosing God forever.
Many thanks!
May God have mercy on us all.


Jesus, I Trust in You!

Jesus, I Trust in You!

I have closed the door for you
please, do not bang on it.
I have opened another for you
and so you should walk through it.

I, you cannot fathom
don’t even try
though my body is not with you
my spirit resides

I am capable of splitting
Into 8 trillion pieces
…….One for each of you

I am the dawn of the day
the breaking anew

If you feel as though I have left you
think of where I went, and who I might be helping now.
Know that I left a piece of me with you
just as I have vowed

And though you cannot see
the angels set there by me
no harm will come your way
the final price
you will not pay.

I will seek out every seed
from the twelve tribes
….I will gather my father’s pride.

Precious do I regard thee
and at the table by my side
so you shall be found
for an eternity.

Great things I have prepared
…….For those who love me.

There are some who don’t
and that’s where I can be found
from the dusks of the evenings
and at the gates of hell.

I will gather the flock
each and every one
under the blanket of stars
lit up by the son

No one here
will be left behind
my power and grace
is easy to find

Just as you cannot fathom me
….you cannot fathom my love for you.

Pain of the land
sear from the desert
waves that destroy
and fire that burns.

Through it all, I’ll be there
for you are mine
and for these I care.

I have left many promises for you
choose one, and see what I can do.

Believe in me.
I’ll set you free.
And in the dawn, I will greet you.