You DO have the hardest position
to have to sit
and watch and listen.
Squint your eyes to bare it
though it’s of no consequence
just looking and seeing
is enough to undo.
Your conscience, unlike mine
knows no boundaries
constraint or time
Your only job
is to watch out for me
seeing what I can’t see.
Sometimes you bust in
through my mind-door
and shake me and scream, “Remember BEFORE!?!?!?”
But I can’t hear you
though goose bumps all over
I just react naturally
only this time changed over.
Thanks for the whispers
that save my life
thanks for this kiss
that one dreamy night
My favorite times
in knowing of you
was when I leant you to my children
to see them through
while walking the street
is never enough
if you ask me.
I called you back
for fear of being alone
but have a feeling
you would leave me for no one.
Since no man has told me this
yet I know you are true
then communication has unfolded
because I listen to you
I long to know your name
and meet you later
I’m sure it will be like seeing a twin
and not a stranger
because you know ALL of me
that, which is hidden from other eyes that see
there is nothing I could hide
even under the sheets
wet or dry.
who stops the wind for me
the keeper of the bees
and spiders that be
who has given you the power
to guide and keep safe
his most precious flower
I thank him
and you as well
if it weren’t for you both
I’d be going to hell
Do I have one or two
is there another you
no gender just graces
curly hair and angel faces
I’m so excited you’re here
and that you are ALWAYS near
since you were sent from above
I’m going to call you Dove.
Can you smell smoke?
Can you hear the music?
I am interested in knowing
If I offend
I was given to you
and with that comes the truth
That you are me
and I am you.
Alone I stand at the top of the canyon ridge.
As the shout rings out, the gentle slopes grab the vibrato
and bounce it along the canyon face.
Only the eagle can hear the desperation in my voice
and I shout once again to be sure he hears the cry.
Surely this is what it will be like
alone at the top
thundering cries that are not heard by ears
the canyon dancing and crumbling here and there.
The voice is as if scarlet
as blood starts to trickle out of the palms of my hands
and searing pain rips through my feet.
Tears begin to turn the dust into mud
and I desperately wipe them away with my scapular.
Raising my head
I wince at the desert sun
for a drop of water
my throat yearns,
for shade my shoulders burn.
If only I could make them all hear
although there are no souls around
If only I could land even on deaf ears
I would surely drop to my knees and beg.
I reach inside my body, and grab my heart
Ripping it out
and it pulsates in my hand.
I throw it as far as I can into the canyon
and watch as the blood splatters on the rocks below.
Blood starts to seep around the rock, so far down
and continued to spread filling in the spaces around the rocks
and eventually the boulders begin to float.
Soon after, the bottom of the canyon is a river of blood, and from the North
A gigantic flood rushes down the canyon flood
mingling with the blood.
Ever so slowly, I take a step off
and let myself fall
a long way down.
The eagle swoops down and catches my fall
Carrying me back to the top
And there I crumble and wait
For now, I know there is no escape.
They tied your arms up
And ripped off your clothes
So they could clearly see the flesh they would mutilate
With leather straps and sharp bones
That tore into your flesh
And snapped it off in pieces
Once so light and airy
Now slumped and heavy
As if a giant boulder lay on every cut and bruise
Almost relieved to lay down on that wooden cross
Because carrying it in your condition
Was nearly impossible
Blood all over the place
Hiding the bruises
Your head lay back across the thorns
….it was all you could do to lift your head so they didn’t stab your scull anymore
Dizzy with pain
Hard to breath
Vision blurred and rested on the sky
Your arm was pulled and then a point was placed
But what came next is hard for anyone to imagine
The nail went right through your bones and crushed them
Only flesh held the nail in place
Next came the tug at your legs as they crossed them
One on top of the other
And there couldn’t have been anything more painful
As the nail drove through both
It took six whacks of the hammer to go all the way through
Too late now to turn back
You reeled in pain
And begged for mercy
And this would actually become your name
As the cross was lifted
The entire weight of your body tore at the wounds
And you hung, not for a minute
But for three hours like that
You used those very moments
Those agonizing centuries
You prayed every single moment
And offered your torture up so we wouldn’t be
I feel guilty now thanking you for that sacrifice
For nothing could be worse
I wish us all to hell instead of putting you through that
But then, that is me
And not you Sweet Jesus
October 6, 1999
As I rolled the windows down
the wind gusts lifted my hair completely
and it surrounded my face.
I smiled, desperately wiping it away so I could see to drive.
I turned the radio up
and sang at the top of my lungs
….as my girlfriend would later do when at the gig…
The wind, which had not been there when I got in the car
just five minutes before
it shoved my truck this way and that.
I got high off that wind
the night air seemed to sizzle;
plaid school-girl skirt
socks up to my knees
blonde hair glossy
lips shiny red
all I could do was smile.
As I arrived at the dockside restaurant
and continued to the patio where her band was playing
….and then came my favorite song.
I had to get up and dance but
being the only one
I knew I was a spectacle,
I didn’t care.
The side door opened from the dock
and in walked three men.
I only saw one
he was over six feet tall
soaking wet, all in black
long dark curls reached his waist
his face was like that of a painting.
Still high off the wind,
as nothing could deter me,
I fancied over and grabbed his wet sweatshirt
and dragged him to the dance floor.
It was his birthday
and I was his gift.
We have never been apart since.
Sorms are for healing
the lonely hearts
the rain is to remind you
who is in charge
the wind carries lovers to their rightful places
and the stars shine down later
to say that all is well.
Myhusband never gets off the boat
he rides and rides
and doesn’t stop at all
until that night
when the wind and the rain forced him to
stopped him for his birthday
to give him his gift.
On the day of my son’s fifth grade graduation celebration, the giant sky was filled with huge billowy threatening dark rain clouds.
The wind blew in at least 10 miles an hour, the gusts at fifteen. I attended the program at school, and gave as many hugs and words of encouragement to the neighborhood children who were wondering if we were still going to have a pool party.
I had spent a fortune on hamburgers, hot dogs and the like, and my husband and I had spent two diligent weeks raking the bottom of the pool and blasting it with chemicals. It was 99% bright blue, and astonishing to look at. What a mess it had been. Together, our efforts combined brought that beautiful clear sparkling pool to life.
But these deep dark clouds were looming over head, and it was only 60 degrees or so; the celebration looked grim as I shuffled quickly to the car.
Off in the distance, I saw a small patch of bright blue where somehow the luminous clouds had avoided, and I whispered to God, “Please Lord, these are your children, they have worked so hard in school this year, they deserve a great celebration.”
Once home, I still hurried along with the preparations, laying out all of the snack foods, folding towels and setting out chairs.
Eliza, my little sweet one showed up first, as usual, and my husband growled at the fact that she wanted to jump right in. Even my own children still had not put their suits on yet, for we were all holding our breath and squinting at the threatening sky. The entire area was covered with the thickest black clouds you can imagine, and guests started to slowly show up. Soon, I was surrounded by anxious children, who wanted to play in the drizzling rain anyway. I sat down on one of the lawn chairs sighing, and looked up at the sky. There again was that forsaken little patch of bright blue, who knows how it could have been.
So I reached my arms up to Heaven, and in front of everyone said in the loudest voice I could muster, “Lord Jesus! I have great faith in you Lord! I have great faith that this sky will completely clear of all of this stormy weather, and it will turn to THAT color blue,” I said, pointing at the curious patch. All of the children laughed, some of them sneared, and they turned to my husband with anxious looks for a better answer to the problem at hand.
Well, He said, “Go ahead and get in, but if it starts to rain or we hear thunder, you have to get out immediately.”
And so fifteen of them jumped in mostly at the same time, except my little Jazmin, who is afraid of the water.
I laid back on the cold lounge chair, and shivered at the sky.
A half of an hour went by, and the clouds still loomed, even darker, and more threatening, so I cried out again ,”Jesus! I have great faith in you Lord! I KNOW you will clear this sky!!”
The children ignored me this time, their little bodies shivering trying to have fun in the cold and wet.
My dearest friend in the whole world showed up, with her three children, and just as she did, the air got lighter, the sky got a little brighter, and the wind kicked up and started to blow the clouds Eastward.
A half an hour later, the sun was shining down on all of us, there was only a trace of clouds left above us, and it was really starting to warm up. I started pointing to the sky saying, God is so good!” Angie, my best friend, agreed.
Not even fifteen minutes after that, warmth spread over the entire back yard, the sky cleared absolutely completely, the bright bright blue stood out to our amazement, and the wind died down.
All of the mothers who had come fully dressed were now starting to sweat, but not me. I had been wearing a sundress the whole time.
“The amount of faith of a mustard seed can move a mountain.” That’s what he said in His Good Book. This time, faith beckoned the wind, the rain, the massive thunderous clouds, and my heart as well, for I will never forget that gift he gave me in return for my hope in His glory.
Fatima, including the later apparitions to Sr. Lucia, is the series of approved apparitions where Mary said most, which is fitting given that it is the most important. And yet even here the entire discourse can easily be fitted onto no more than four or five sides of A4 paper.
13 May 1917
“Do not be afraid, I will not harm you.”
“I come from heaven.”
“I have come to ask you to come here for six months on the 13th day of the month, at this same hour. Later I shall say who I am and what I desire. And I shall return here yet a seventh time.”
Lucia then asked if they would go to heaven and she was told yes, she and Jacinta would go to heaven, but Francisco would need to say many rosaries first.
Lucia asked about two young women who had died recently, and was told that one was in heaven and the other, her friend Amelia, would be in purgatory “until the end of world.”
“Are you willing to offer yourselves to God and bear all the sufferings He wills to send you, as an act of reparation for the conversion of sinners?”
“Then you are going to have much to suffer, but the grace of God will be your comfort.”
13 June 1917
“Say the Rosary every day, to bring peace to the world and the end of the war.”
“I want you to come on the 13th of next month, [July] to pray the Rosary every day, and to learn to read. Later, I will tell you what I want.”
“If he is converted, he will be cured during the year.” (reference to a sick person)
“I will take Jacinta and Francisco shortly; but you will stay here for some time to come. Jesus wants to use you to make Me known and loved. He wishes to establish the devotion to My Immaculate Heart throughout the world. I promise salvation to whoever embraces it; these souls will be dear to God, like flowers put by Me to adorn his throne.”
“No, my daughter. Are you suffering a great deal? Don’t lose heart. I will never forsake you. My Immaculate Heart will be your refuge and the way that will lead you to God.”
13 July 1917
“I want you to come here on the 13th of next month, [August] to continue to pray the Rosary every day in honour of Our Lady of the Rosary, in order to obtain peace for the world and the end of the war, because only she can help you.”
“Continue to come here every month. In October, I will tell you who I am and what I want, and I will perform a miracle for all to see and believe.”
Lucia made some requests for sick people, to which Mary replied that she would cure some but not others, and that all must say the rosary to obtain such graces, before continuing: “Sacrifice yourselves for sinners, and say many times, especially when you make some sacrifice: O Jesus, it is for love of You, for the conversion of sinners, and in reparation for the sins committed against the Immaculate Heart of Mary.”
“You have seen hell where the souls of poor sinners go. To save them, God wishes to establish in the world devotion to my Immaculate Heart. If what I say to you is done, many souls will be saved and there will be peace. The war is going to end; but if people do not cease offending God, a worse one will break out during the pontificate of Pius XI. When you see a night illumined by an unknown light, know that this is the great sign given you by God that he is about to punish the world for its crimes, by means of war, famine, and persecutions of the Church and of the Holy Father.
“To prevent this, I shall come to ask for the consecration of Russia to my Immaculate Heart, and the Communion of Reparation on the First Saturdays. If my requests are heeded, Russia will be converted, and there will be peace; if not, she will spread her errors throughout the world, causing wars and persecutions of the Church. The good will be martyred, the Holy Father will have much to suffer, various nations will be annihilated. In the end, my Immaculate Heart will triumph. The Holy Father will consecrate Russia to me and she will be converted, and a period of peace will be granted to the world.”
Mary specifically told Lucia not to tell anyone about the secret at this stage, apart from Francisco, before continuing: “When you pray the Rosary, say after each mystery: ‘O my Jesus, forgive us, save us from the fire of hell. Lead all souls to heaven, especially those who are most in need.’ ”
Lucia asked if there was anything more, and after assuring her that there was nothing more, Mary disappeared off into the distance.
“Go again to the Cova da Iria on the 13th and continue to say the Rosary every day.
Mary also said she would perform a miracle, so all would believe, and that if they had not been kidnapped it would have been even greater. Lucia then asked how the growing shrine should be administered, and requested cures for the sick, being told that some would be cured during the year.
“Pray, pray very much, and make sacrifices for sinners; for many souls go to hell, because there are none to sacrifice themselves and pray for them.”
13 September 1917
“Continue to pray the Rosary in order to obtain the end of the war. In October Our Lord will come, as well as Our Lady of Dolours and Our Lady of Carmel. Saint Joseph will appear with the Child Jesus to bless the world. God is pleased with your sacrifices. He does not want you to sleep with the rope on, but only to wear it during the daytime.”
Lucia then began to put forward the petitions for cures, to be told: “Yes, I will cure some, but not others. In October I will perform a miracle so that all may believe.”
13 October 1917
“I want to tell you that a chapel is to be built here in my honour. I am the Lady of the Rosary. Continue always to pray the Rosary every day. The war is going to end, and the soldiers will soon return to their homes.”
Lucia made some requests, being informed that people must amend their lives and ask forgiveness of their sins if they wanted healings or conversions. “Do not offend the Lord our God any more, because He is already so much offended.”
Later Apparitions to Sr. Lucia
By 1925 Lucia, who was now 18, had become a postulant with the Sisters of St. Dorothy at Pontevedra in Spain, and on Thursday 10 December, the Blessed Virgin, accompanied by the Child Jesus on a little cloud, appeared to her in her cell. Lucia recounted that Mary rested her hand on her shoulder, while showing her a heart encircled by thorns in her other hand.
The Child Jesus spoke first: “Have pity on the Heart of your Most Holy Mother. It is covered with the thorns with which ungrateful men pierce it at every moment, and there is no one to remove them with an act of reparation.”
Then Mary said:”My daughter, look at My Heart surrounded with thorns with which ungrateful men pierce it at every moment by their blasphemies and ingratitude. You, at least, try to console me, and say that I promise to assist at the hour of death, with all the graces necessary for salvation, all those who, on the first Saturday of five consecutive months go to confession and receive Holy Communion, recite five decades of the Rosary and keep me company for a quarter of an hour while meditating on the mysteries of the Rosary, with the intention of making reparation to me.”
The Child Jesus again appeared to Lucia in February 1926 to encourage her to propagate this devotion, and additionally on the night of 29-30 May 1930; as she was praying before the Blessed Sacrament, she received an interior locution explaining why it was necessary to have a communion of reparation on five Saturdays.
She explained later that she had been given to understand that this related to the five main types of blasphemies and offences committed against the Immaculate Heart of Mary: that is against the Immaculate Conception; against Mary’s Virginity; against her Divine Maternity and her spiritual motherhood of mankind; for the offences of those who encourage in the hearts of children indifference, contempt and even hatred of her, and finally as reparation for those who outrage her in her holy images.
On 13 June 1929 Lucia saw another important apparition involving Mary as she was making a Holy Hour in the convent chapel at Tuy in Spain, as was her custom on Thursday nights from eleven to twelve. She was alone, praying the prayers of the Angel in the dim light of the sanctuary lamp when,
“Suddenly the whole chapel was illumined by a supernatural light, and above the altar appeared a Cross of light, reaching to the ceiling. In a brighter light on the upper part of the Cross, could be seen the face of a man and his body as far as the waist; upon his breast was a dove of light; nailed to the Cross was the body of another man. A little below the waist, I could see a chalice and a large Host suspended in the air, onto which drops of blood were falling from the Face of Jesus Crucified and from the wound in His side.
These drops ran down onto the Host and fell into the chalice. Beneath the right arm of the Cross was Our Lady and in her hand was her Immaculate Heart. (It was Our Lady of Fatima, with her Immaculate Heart in her left hand, without sword or roses, but with a crown of thorns and flames). Under the left arm of the Cross, large letters, as if of crystal clear water which ran down upon the altar, formed these words: ‘Grace and Mercy.’ ”
At this point Lucia explained that she understood the apparition was a representation of the Holy Trinity, as she heard Mary speak to her: “The moment has come in which God asks the Holy Father, in union with all the Bishops in the world, to make the consecration of Russia to my Immaculate Heart, promising to save it by this means. There are so many souls whom the Justice of God condemns for sins committed against me, that I have come to ask reparation: sacrifice yourself for this intention and pray.”
Lucia told all this to her confessor who ordered her to write it down, and she also said that later on Jesus had spoken as follows to her: “They did not wish to heed My request. Like the king of France, they will repent and do it, but it will be late. Russia will have already spread her errors throughout the world, provoking wars and persecutions of the Church; the Holy Father will have much to suffer.”
Sources: Kondor, Fatima in Lucia’s own words; cf. De Marchi, Fatima from the beginning;Martins & Fox, Documents on Fatima; Fox, Fatima Today.
Ten Ways To Please God
1. When you get up in the morning, say, “Good morning!” to him
2. When you are doing some menial task during the day, say a silent “Our Father” to him
(the Our Father is at the bottom of this page)
3. When doing a small task for someone else, such as picking up their clothes off the floor, say to him, “This is for You Lord”
4. Tell someone who is down, and doesn’t feel like they have a friend in the world, that Jesus loves them, The Creator of the Universe.
5. Hold up a plump piece of fruit, or a flower, and say to someone, “Isn’t God amazing to have able to think this up?
6. When you are talking with a person who clearly is filled with evil, say silently to yourself, “In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I cast out of this body before me all evil spirits. Do not bother this body, or any of it’s family again. In the name of Jesus Christ, be gone now.
7. Honor the Mother of Jesus, Mother Mary, by daily saying hello to her, and thanking her for watching over us.
8. When He performs a miracle in your life, or does something amazing out of the blue, recognize Him for that, and say, “I know that was YOU! Thank you for loving me.”
9. Thank Jesus daily for saving all the souls from Hell by dying in our place.
10. When someone asks you for something, give them twice as much as what they asked for, and tell God that was for him, for your love for him.
Some people say, “How do I speak with God when he doesn’t speak back. What is praying? How do you pray? How can I have a personal relationship with God?
They are thinking too hard on the subject, and God is EASY.
He does speak back, LOUD AND CLEAR for those who WANT TO RECOGNISE his voice, it is in nature all around us, and whispered into our heart. He will do all of the work, and show you how to do yours, if only you are subjective, and believe, and trust that he is indeed there.
Praying is only saying what is on your mind, and for those that can’t think up anything proper, prayers are written down for them to read. That is a good start. Actually, a great start. You need only to think in your head, to pray.
Jesus already HAS a personal relationship with you, now it is your turn. The best thing to remember is that he knows your whole life already, and is standing at the end of it, on the other side, waiting for you. Don’t let the moment of your death be the first time you meet him.
If you ask Mother Mary, she will prepare you to meet him, in a very special and unique way. She is indeed our advocate.
Our Father, Who art in heaven
Hallowed be Thy Name;
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. Amen.
“The Hail Mary”
Hail Mary, full of grace.
Our Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death.
The Oh My Jesus!
Oh My Jesus, forgive us our sins, thank you for saving us from the fires of hell, lead all souls to Heaven, especially those who are in most need of thy mercy!