Loveletter

2012-06-17_13-58-49_388

I want to tell you
That you are my hero
You show me the way
The path I don’t know

It’s so much better than mine
Not dark and sublime
But filled with light
And your strength and might

From the beginning of time
I am yours
You are mine
and because I’m ungrateful
You were even more faithful

When your baby face
stole my ball
and hung it up high
so far up the wall

a desperate glance at my mother
as she handed me the world
I know you were laughing
at your little baby girl

I will always love you
I have from the start
especially on that dreaded day
alone in the park

My excuse- you were
“You can’t! It God’s Day”
but still he took my body
and continued to play

That unanswered question
for you I still have
for it opened a door
for good and bad

I don’t blame you though
and I never will
for form what I’ve been through
has made my heart still

If I hadn’t traveled deep
into the dreaded dark
I wouldn’t have needed you
so badly from the start

In retracing the years
that I didn’t think about you
I thank you for not leaving
and finding somebody new

What was only a smear
through the tears and the rain
is now a giant
who gathers my pain

Into your hands
you place all of me
I’m sorry it took
over forty years to see

How you waited and wondered
when I would come around
throwing mercy upon me
for the deeds profound

But You never left me
Though I repeatedly broke your heart
You always shielded me
from the pit of the dark

You had planned on me
from long ago
knowing I would need forgiveness
Oh! The seeds you sow!

I’m trying to pay you back
as I kneel at your alter
and I kiss your mother’s feet
and every scar you offer

For now that I realize
that you never had left
I gasp immediately
And choke on my breath

How can I thank you
for what you have done
yet I never had to ask
for the rise of the sun

I am keeping a notebook now
deep in my heart
so I can show you the reasons
we shall never part

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